Writing Club #2
Apr 29, 2014
Prompt: Write an instruction manual on how to deal
with velociraptor at work.
Well the very first thing I would say is
avoid any contact with fresh meat of any kind.
Keep your hands and nose clean. The
scent of blood sends them into a frenzy.
Barbequing is out and I wouldn’t walk around with a steak in my back
pocket either. Keep it on the straight
and narrow. They have been know to bite
first and taste later. Dress the
part. A full safety suit is a must, get
a good tailor or preferably a metal smith, chain mail if possible.
Remember they’ve got claws and they’re not
afraid to use them to get ahead in the game and teeth six inches long, razor
sharp at that. I wouldn’t be taunting
them or poking them with a stick. Mind
your manners. Keep your distance when
feeding them so you won’t get pulled into the mess.
Don’t be too hasty to turn and leave. Do your due diligence. It is of utmost importance to be sure that the
door is locked behind you, “I”s are dotted and “t”s are crossed. Check and double check that the power is on
and the bars are hot.
When entering the pen, remember they they
hunt in packs, so what you don’t see can hurt you. Have a plan of presentation, but be prepared
to adapt, and counter the sneak attack. Be
aware of what could be pitfalls could be lurking in the lunchroom or in the
stairwell. It’s a jungle out there.
If all else fails, hope your fellow
co-worker is slower than you. That way
you won’t be the one getting axed.
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