Coffee Hour #3 Sometimes we have snow days.

Jan 25, 2019

I admit yesterday was a little disappointing.  I fully planned on sitting down and writing after breakfast until I looked out the window and saw what the snow and rain of the previous day left behind.  Everything place shovelled was covered in a thick slick layer of ice.  So much for a morning writing session. 

I did manage to jot down 3 sentences.  (Ironically, I chose to write about hope.)

Honestly, I wasn't surprised that overnight our driveway and sidewalk had become polished to an icy mirror shine.  I half expected it and had already been stroking off things on my mental list of things I hoped to do that day.  

In the sunlight, the cold kaleidoscope of greys, blues and golds would have made a good picture, but the realization that my weekly volunteer job of a couple hours just became all day affair because there was no way I was getting our truck down our steep driveway without a few bags of salt put me in anything but an artistic mood.  On top of that, I needed to head to town to get said salt.  (I only had half a bag on hand.  We don't use it often.)  There was no way I could get the truck out of the garage and down the hill without it becoming a giant toboggan.  

This is when I am thankful my parents live down the road.  Instead of being angry about my day being reduced to the simple task of escaping my driveway, it turned into some time well spent with my dad.   By noonish our driveway was no longer a slide after a good coating of salt.  My dad and I ended up doing my deliveries together and got in some good conversation. 

Taking lemons and making them into lemonade seems to happen often in our family.  Thing is, life doesn't always go our way.  There are so many things we don't have control over.  And, when you live in Canada, you're plans are going to get sidelined now and then by winter weather.  C'est la vie.  Grin and bear it.

Three snow days this week means it hasn't been a very productive week for me period.  Instead it's been a week filled with good moments spent with my kids, one of the good things about snow days. Nothing fancy, fun can be simple and free.  Who doesn't love a good movie marathon?  (I am no master of sitting still, usually I am working on a sewing project while watching and discussing what I love about the choreography and characters.  We've watched the Pirates of the Caribbean series through once again.  Think warm tropical thoughts.  Why not an adventure on the high seas?  Who doesn't love Jack Sparrow's spontaneity and charisma?  Does he plan things or is he just that lucky?  Lol!)

Productivity is such a focus these days.  I fall into that trap so often.  One of the first questions asked when we meet someone new is "So what do you do?" Being home, much of what I do is invisible to the outside world and when that dreaded question comes up in conversation, I feel like my answer isn't all that exciting.  The fact that I cleaned my house or made my own jeans feels trivial in comparison to someone mentioning they teach, they heal, they solve the mysteries of the universe. 

To my children though, I am important.  Being a stay at home mom is no easy gig.  I end up wearing many hats.  Sometimes, it means getting a little creative to make things work.  For me, staying home wasn't as much choice as necessity.  My son had a rough start to life and needed extra care.  It's what our family needed to do to make things work.  

What we do and can do can shift so quickly.  I am sure I wasn't alone in just trying to escape my driveway yesterday.  Circumstances change.  Health changes.  Babies arrive.  Kids become teens.  We grow older.  What we do can't be the only thing that defines.  Who we are matters.  How you respond to life makes all the difference.  Dreams of youth don't always pan out.  Sometimes you have to trudge forward and forge new dreams.  Leave the driveway late to start your day at noon.  Work away at writing a novel. Spend your day with your children because the snow is blowing and wind howling outside.

If life is only about what you accomplish or making dollars, it might never be satisfy.  The storm of striving for more is a dangerous thing.   At some point it becomes an act of chasing after the wind as Solomon would say in Ecclesiastes.  You'll never catch it.  Grasp at the air and open your hand to view an empty palm.   Rail against the wind, try to run through it, two steps forward and one backwards.  

As in Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, like Captain Barbosa, what good is it to consume but not enjoy the taste.  To take a different meaning, sometimes it's good to slow down and just be in the moment.  I have a habit of making myself so busy because of I long to recapture what I’ve lost because of the way life fell, I have to keep refocusing on what has gone right.    Hopefully my career will come, my own niche business will work out, novels will get finished and edited.  Sometimes striving has to be set aside for a breather.  Children grow too fast.  Relationships take time and nurturing.

It’s better to savour the little things you do have, then mourn the larger things you don’t.  Take time to do the things you love with the people you love.  I’m a work in progress just like this writing project.   Time to leave this page for another day.  I apologize, this entry is billowing out at the seams with tangents and full of loose threads.  

Sometimes we need a good snow day to really see what’s important.