May 8, 2015
I was given a little orange and white ceramic tea set when I was a kid. It wasn't fancy or new. I still remember the neighbour lady giving it to my mom when I about three or four out by the plum tree in our backyard. I can't really tell you exactly my age because of my comprehension of time back then. (As a small child it seemed that time passed so slowly and the moments of significance are different that these days.) It's one of those moments I can go back and see in my mind's eye. Mom thanked her and took it in the house and that was the last I saw of it until a few years after we moved back onto the farm. I knew at the time it was for me, I remember the old lady saying so, but Mom didn't let me play with it.
On the farm, its new resting place was in my mom's buffet hutch kept safe until I was old enough to play with it and wouldn't break it. I never did play get to play with it. It was simply forgotten about there in the dark of that lower cabinet. Dusting one day, I came across it as a teenager. Several pieces were broken as another too precious to be used item had fallen on top of it.
It's the behavior I find curious, this preservation of things. Maybe houses don't have "good" rooms for company anymore. Why have things that are too good to be used for fear of breaking or spoiling them? We had "good" furniture in the living room on the farm that was not for playing on. That room was solely for entertaining company and as I thought because I was the one who had to clean it, a room for dust collecting. We had good clothes that we outgrew before they wore out and perfume that went rancid before the bottle was emptied. Either we didn't take the time to entertain enough.
Coming from a long line of frugal farming families, I more than understand the thought process. It's practical and conservative. Farm life is hard work, down and dirty at times. Wear barn clothes to the barn, play clothes outside and Sunday best to church. Take care of what you've got. Don't be wasteful. Save this and that because you can fix, patch, repurpose and you don't know when you will get into town next, but then what good was it having a perfectly good and not to mention tea set and never enjoying a single tea party with it. Perhaps my doll and stuffed horse weren't good enough company, not really. I think my mom was just really busy with all the tasks she had to do and it never got brought out. With four children, a family business and a huge garden she was busy holding everything together, making ends meet and stretching a dollar as far as it could go. We were well cared for.
I never did forget the orange tea set though. Perhaps never getting to play with it, made me want to play with it all the more. I told myself I wouldn't do the same thing. I did. No keeping things for good, use them every day and enjoy the little moments because maybe those big moments are too far and few between and those items we save will be long forgotten, broken or too small.
Then while I was spring cleaning today, I remembered that at the back of one of the kitchen cupboards rests one very expensive, Disney Princess pretty pink tea set in a fancy pink and white box purchased for my daughter and those tender years are flying by. I think the tiny teapot, cups and saucers need to sit on my counter for a while, maybe serve a couple cups of white hot chocolate "tea"and cookies a few times before it's too late. If they break, they break. C'est la vie! At least I still have the happy memories and I know that the set was put to good use.
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